DISCOMBOBULATION…IS THAT EVEN A WORD?

national handbag dayHi ya Peeps and Happy Friday the 13th…dun dun dun!  I’m not superstitious at all, but do love me a good scary movie.  Friday The 13th was truly one of the best, a close second behind Halloween.  Or wait, perhaps it was When a Stranger Calls.  Click here for one of my favorite scenes. Well, it was when I was 16!   Doesn’t that take you back a few years? 

So, I’ve been busy trying to keep myself from climbing the walls as of late, feeling slightly discombobulated, so please bear with me.  And speaking of, here is one more silly thing. Happy Day after International Purse Day.  I can’t even grasp that this IS a day!  But my purses thank you and no,  I didn’t take them for a walk…Now let’s get serious, shall we?  😉

I’m slightly ticked at myself because I missed my deadline for the October Neighbors Magazine article due to a hectic August (ear surgery gone bad – don’t ask) and just a couple of other random things that messed up my timelines.  Out the window went all my calendaring and organizing tips.  Oh how we “bloggers” love to give sage advice to others, but following for ourselves is a bit of a farce!  I’m feeling off kilter… 

I feel I hibernated through the summer, only to wake up finding it October.  I found myself constantly checking the Weather network hoping for 3 days in a row of some hot sun. I’m typically brown as a berry till the first snow fly’s, but I’m already dousing myself in Bio Oil to keep what little shade of color I have left.  (It works for JLo, so why not). 

The one good thing I DO love about Fall is the wardrobe.  I love to break out my oversized sweaters, long boots, and flowy scarfs, but oh, hang on… again, we “bloggers” paint the picture, but this is the true reality!   

fall

Thanksgiving came and went.  I hardly even remember eating dinner with the family.  We work for days prepping the bird, setting the table, and when it’s time to eat, all you really want is to down a Jäger bomb.  AMIRITE?

This year we had a bit of a calamity as I was removing said bird out of the oven.  The tin foil pan collapsed (he tipped the scales at 22 lbs.), and I proceeded to spill turkey juices all over the hot oven, the floor, and my bare feet!  The smoke from the oven filled the room like some eerie Halloween thriller, and while my 88 year old father was busy flapping towels at the fire alarm to make it stop, my mama was busy swooshing her way through the kitchen collecting all the rolling potatoes and carrots.  It was quite a scene.  I HATE COOKING!  Did I mention that?  

I spent the next day binge watching This is Us, on Netflix.  I thought it would cheer me up after the great turkey escape, but nope, I only ugly cried my way through a bowl of chips and dip.  Three cheers for comfort food.  

The decision to head to Costco was also a big mistake.   I now had this internal struggle to deal with of Halloween vs. Christmas décor.  Why do they do this?   All I wanted was a pumpkin for my urn, but now I had to make a snap decision if I needed 350 more gift tags, or a giant Santa for my lawn.  Honestly, I can’t even find time to wax my brows these days, and they want me to be thinking holiday blow-ups?   I want my Mommy!    

So, I’ll end my mindless drivel here, but I could go on.  Mother Nature and her nasty ways has also decided it’s now time for me to enter the next phase of life called Perimenopause, complete with weight gain, mood swings, and hot flashes! The perfect trifecta!  Don’t even get me started.  As for today,  I’m busy sourcing disposable jammies on Amazon. 

Let’s call it a day, and save this story for another blog, shall we?   Until next time, xo

leslieann2

 

MOJO Reality Check…Finding the good in everyday

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Ha!   Thankfully, I have never done one of these, but rest assured I am much happier and more successful than any of you will ever be!!  Do people really think we believe this drivel?  Well,  I don’t and quite frankly, it’s just one less thing I have to worry about doing.

I’m having a bit of a struggle with all the hustle and bustle this festive season, and it’s messing with my mojo!  It’s so not like me.  I’m Mrs. Clause most days!  I equate it to a little bit of aging, and a lot of memory loss.  Why can’t the milk jug go in the cereal cabinet overnight.  And why, why, why do we run up the stairs numerous times a day only to forget why we are there!  I’m thinking of installing an escalator to make the trip more fun.

AND, to make matters worse, with all my stressing, I’ve now caught the flu bug and sicker than a dog.  I just can’t seem to shake it.  I’m presently sucking on a Fisherman’s Friend (snicker) and downing Neo Citron like it’s happy hour!

I am head down in busy mode making preparations for Christmas while working full time.  I was busy updating my “gifts purchased” spreadsheet and creating my own Christmas vision board, (totally kidding on the board) when it hit me. It’s time to chill, slow my roll!

I know many people  can get all worked up about everything Christmas, and will forget to stop and smell the roses, (poinsettia’s in this case – which I detest, but regardless). Guilty as charged.

I’m one of those people that if the stars are not all aligned just so,  I can be a real crabby patty.  I have a timeline that if not followed to a “T”,  I feel like a whirling dervish, ready to blow. I’ll write things on my to-do list and then immediately stroke it off,  just to be sure I am on the right track. You are smiling, because you do this too.

And if it isn’t bad enough that I’m stressing every…. little….. thing,  I get a “Hey Lester, what’s with the empty urn…it’s already December” from the neighbor.  Curse them, they all know me too well.  I just laugh, give a little shoulder shrug, and reply , “Yes, I know right, what is wrong with me…”  I then turn on my heels, and with my back teeth grinding into a fine powder, poke a little pin in his voodoo doll!

But, this week,  I  got the chance to get out to a wonderful Bring and Buy fundraiser for The Lighthouse. I told my girlfriend, I couldn’t stay long, in and out, and of course, we were there till the bitter end ~ Coffee, Ladies, and shopping are a great threesome that you can’t rush!   I spent time chatting with old friends I hadn’t seen in ages, and  then met a lady that I think, if we had more time, would have exchanged dress sizes and become lifelong friends. She was such a doll!  Don’t you love when you meet someone and feel like you have known them all your life. It has happened a few times to me. So great!

This is when I told myself that it’s time to slow down, recognize the real reason for the season and to try and find the good in everyday things.  The Lighthouse has made some huge changes in peoples lives, and holds a special place in my heart for a couple of very good reasons.  They have now moved to a new home, and it’s absolutely beautiful.   Congratulations to them all, and with this sale, raised over $16K!

Then, again something great.  Last Wednesday, I spent the morning at the Food Bank with other work peeps sorting canned goods and working a tape gun like nobody’s business.  Collectively we gave 63 hours of our time and organized 5,862 meals worth of food back into our community!  What a great feeling to be giving back in this way.

And of course, closing off the loop, yesterday we picked up “thing 2” from college in  London.  My whole family unit back together.  All feels right in my world. Even though my boy is not too far away from home, I still run to him for a big hug like he has been serving overseas for 5 years.  But, by a week in, I’ll be wondering when he wants a lift back to school and if we book early, could perhaps get a discounted bus ticket!  It’s a whole process that only mama’s can relate to!  Again, I know you are smiling!

So now that my mojo is under control, I can enjoy the fact that I have a party to attend this evening.  I don’t want to stress, but the Tinkley Winkley website I ordered my dress from has missed the boat!  Curse you Amazon Prime – You promised!  Not a package in sight, so it’s going to be tights and a flowy over top! Sounds good to me – easier to get my 24K MAGIC grove on without the constricting nylons!

As I write this, I am getting a pedicure for the holidays, and we ALL know what heaven that is.  You are actually forced to sit down for an hour, and not move.  I so appreciate this time, even if I am inhaling the fumes of the toxic varnish!  Also, not to mention the chatter you can engage in with complete strangers, and then, the next thing you know, you ARE exchanging dress sizes and planning a coffee date.  If only the owners of these “boutiques” could get these places licensed….

So yes, there are just 7 more sleeps.  But that’s ok.  I’m just going to continue to focus on the good in everyday!!  It helps bring things into perspective, from my perspective, of course.  Although, if you do find yourself in need of a voodoo doll for any particular reason, you know where to find me! ❤

Merry Merry my friends,

leslieann2dashing

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Angel Wings and funny things….Reality!

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The countdown is on and I’m starting to panic.  The reality is setting in that there are only 18 more shopping days, and typically by this time, I’m done, wrapped and enjoying a stogie by the fire.

As I try to compile my lists, I’m getting slightly distracted by the Victoria Secret Angels on my tele. They are all so beautiful/puffy lipped, strutting their bits on the runway, wrapped up in angel wings, leather and feathers, and I’m all here in my Costco hoodie just trying to keep it together.

As an aside, do you think they remove the wings before going to bed and do they need help yanking them boots off? wings

I’ve asked my crew what they need/want, and they admit they can’t think of anything!   Perfect I say.  I’ll stop in at the Dollar store and stock up on mini soaps, shampoos, breath mints, and a keychain to put in your stockings.  Perhaps some grocery store coupons for the college student!

It was so much easier when a few packages of Pokémon cards, a Lego set and something that fly’s would suffice. Now they are bigger boys and bigger boys = more expensive toys!

I on the other hand can provide a plethora of gift ideas, which all my men truly appreciate at 2:00pm on Christmas Eve when they “start” to Christmas shop (*insert eye roll)

Here are some things mommy would like to see under the tree, and don’t worry, I’m not doing 12.

one Silky bathrobe/lounging thing, 3/4 length, preferably in soft pink.  I want to look like Sophia Loren in the morning.  I’ll most likely spill coffee on it, or dangle the arms in the dogs water bowl, so the image won’t last long. I give this 3 Shining Stars ***

sophia

…bring me my coffee Dahling!

2Gift card to Sephora (let’s face it…they are NOT going to go poking around in there).  A girlfriend of mine jumped in my car and smelled so delish, I had to ask what she was wearing.  It’s a keeper. Be careful when you spray it.  I’ve missed the targeted open neck, and gave my eye a good squirt.   Good for the makeup pouch inside purse. (Thierry Mugler – Alien)  I give it 5 star light star bright…*****alien

 3Speaking of pouches –  I can always make use of a good pouch!  I have a purse, but inside said purse are about 5 other pouches… ladies you are all smiling, it’s true right! Pouch for extra credit cards , pouch for small change, pouch for makeup; pouch for earbuds, pouch for “lady” thangs, and pouch for pens…Pouch Purchase gets you 5 Stars to the moon and back….*****

pouch

fourAnd now, speaking of pens,  I have a love of pens, (because Journals) but it has to be the right kind of pen.  Don’t buy me a bic pen, but also don’t blow the bank!  It should be easy to hold, but not too small, write smoothly, but not jel. Is that too much to ask?? I own this Seltzer 7 year pen, and hoping I can live long enough to prove it right!.  Highly recommend.  5+ starry starry nights ******

pen

5

And lastly, (I’ll stop at 5) Candles ~  I am always lighting candles after a hard days work on the farm.  I enjoy almond, or vanilla scents with perhaps a hint of lavender.  Please don’t buy me one that will make my house smell like a a men’s Turkish bath house, I just won’t appreciate it.  I love a pretty candle in a pretty jar – great to get the glow bouncing off the walls,  while watching a bit of reality, and perhaps scarfing down a bag of Doritos. Candles get you 5 StarWARS – Rogue One *****  (In theatres Dec. 15th 🙂 )

candles

So, that’s a wrap.   I honestly don’t need a thing either and that is the real reality.  What I do need is to focus on the people in my life that mean the most to me, my family and friends.

We all make that extra effort over the holidays which is kind of nice, no?  I even went the extra mile to make an appetizer for a little get together ; I just found it so adorable. It wasn’t the most difficult recipe, but given that I find making pancakes a challenge, this was a goodie.  Here is what it looked like in the magazine.

snowman

AND, here is what it looked like moments after a slight catastrophe, and before I was about to get in the car and show off my masterpiece.  So, lessons here..

1. DO NOT put your food on a chair at eye level of a bullmastiff.

2. DO NOT assume dog will not touch it if  you say, DON’T TOUCH!

3. DO NOT assume dog’s have common sense and appreciate that you took two days to make a snowman.

Sorry, I didn’t take a pic of said snowman upon completion and only have this, complete with slobber, and slightly molded back together for the picture, to share…  Lucy and I are only just now on speaking terms! ❤ (Snowman actually had a scarf, a button nose and two eyes made out of coal 🙂 )

snowman1

 

Enjoy the festive season, make it count where it matters most and NEVER lose your sense of humor.

Joyeux Noël mes amis

xoxo

undies1

 

 

The One of a Kind Show ~ Girly Girl Time!

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Hooray, it’s December 1 ~ I love this month for obvious reasons, but of course, I start my Christmas rituals mid November!

I buy One Of A Kind Tickets, find a few girlfriends that play well together, like to eat & laugh, and there you have it.  A day made in heaven!   I did however, ask my hubby if he was interested in going, but he just mumbled something under his breath how he would “rather have his ba**s in a vice,” so I took it as a no! 🙂

So, this was me last Saturday with 3 other girlfriends and a drive into Toronto for The One Of A Kind (TOOAK) Show.   First of all, I rarely make the commute, so being soaked up by the concrete jungle is the start of a perfect day for me.   I have a slight crush on NYC so the “THE 6IX” is the next best thing. (You’re welcome Drake).   I must back up slightly…the drive through Tim’s AND the Baileys said friends poured into my coffee most DEFINATELY made it the perfect day!

We are all on a hunt to find that special gift.  Something for Aunty Spendthrift, Cousin Spendapalooza, and Grandma Needsnothing.  TOOAK is perfect for this.  That custom made piece of jewelry or the hand soap that smells good enough to eat.  And don’t even get me started about that wonderful Cranberry Pudding with a butter sauce you want to climb into.  I introduced this to one of the girls and as she was making her purchase, I sauntered over to snag a second sampling. So delish!

Good times, however, this day was way more than the shopping or the food.  It’s was the drive in, the laughs, and the discussion of things that got me thinking ~ I’m hearing some funny  material here.   Then of course, as friends do, having heard my exciting news, have many ideas for me, and some really great one liners.  I may steal a few, and if this is called plagiarism, I’m all in! They all think they are hilarious, which I find adorable, and you know what?  They really are!!!

We first dicussed what to wear to a festive party.   They all decided ‘sparkly’ would be good.  Arrgh..I don’t do sparkly.  I’m a princess most days, but DO NOT want to saunter into a party resembling a Christmas ornament.  We continue to give each other advice, what we have to borrow, and if we need a mani or just a pedi!  Girl Talk at it’s best. We then discuss different menu options, what we all can bring,  and then laugh hysterially thinking how hungry we all are and it’s not even 10am.

I’m still sipping my Tim Hortons Coffee Baileys Coffee and with each chug, as I near the bottom, get a little tasty surprise of booze.  This day is going to ROCK I say!

The discussions continue.  “I’m going to get eyelashes for the party!”  What?!  One pal had no clue that this was an option at our age, and then of course, because she is all about ‘health’ wanted to know the possible side effects, concern about allergies, and will she look like a hooker!  They are pretty and if done by a proper aesthetician, you can’t tell the difference. I just picture me now, having one fall off mid sentence into my drink, and the other sticking to my cheek like a rogue caterpillar and nobody telling me for hours.

lashes

My girl Kim…if these are real, I’ll eat my party dress!

We have a few discussions about our kids and their hockey life, schools, teachers and the price of rice in China.  You get my drift.  Then we find humor in the silliest things. Why we ignore the parking guy wielding his baton,  and drive sporadically through the parking lot  to find our own spot close to the doors.  Hooray for us.  I ask about that Elf on a Shelf.   We all found it silly and none of us every purchased one.  Interesting.  As much as I adore everything Christmas, I never embraced this dude. I would just feel like someone was always watching me…he is one creepy little bugger, dangly leg and all,  and those eyes…

elf

I will haunt you in your dreams….

The line is long to get in, but moving fast.  They all look to me for direction since this is really my day, and they know it!  I slightly straighten my crown!  I’m still smiling.  We decide to move west, taking it row by row, as most do. I walk at a fast pace.  My friends were lagging back a bit, so after a few over the shoulder glances, they knew to step in time!!!

Not that we fancy ourselves crafty, but we did see a few things that we thought we could create ourselves with a quick trip to Michaels.  We noticed that things around the neck are very in. Everything from wool, fabric, to real and faux fur.  We saw one scarf that we for SURE knew we could recreate.  We have many coyotes in and around Oakville, and if someone is ok with a beautiful piece around their neck with a little mange, consider it done!

We figured out not to make eye contact with vendors.  Speaking from experience with my ‘booth’ days, when you relentlessly ask a bunch of questions and then don’t purchase something and proceed to walk away, it makes us ‘vendors’ slightly enraged!  We near gave ourselves whiplash turning away from the preying eyes so as to not hurt their feelings and give them any false hopes.

We passed a huge crowd all hunkered down on chairs.  We were at the halfway point, and knew that a vibrating pillow would provide some relief.  I’m proud of my girls.  They are still with me.  At the best of times, they find these things “too peopley” and warned me at the get go I had a window of 3 hours.  Humph, do I now!

As we all scrambled for a spot to sit like a childhood game of Musical Chairs, the pillows start to vibrate. A lovely little old lady was using one, and I couldn’t hold my tongue.  I reminded her that it was a vibrating pillow and NOT a vibrator.  I think we made her day.  She purchased two!  You go girl.

We lost then found a credit card, we bought the fudge, a couple of beautiful necklaces, oh and one vibrating pillow for my dad’s back!…  (wink wink)

We decided to forgo the fashion show, and figured a nice lunch would close off this day perfectly.

girls

Hmm..wine, wine, wine, Beer!

As much as the shopping was fantastic, it’s the little moments in time we spend with our girlfriends that makes one realize how important this is.  Go shopping, but don’t take the train!  Spend the time in conversation.  So well worth it!

Mele Kalikimaka my friends,

xoxo leslie-ann2

 Thought for the day:

    Remember, every time you re-gift something, an elf loses his job!