Holy Man, I’m Bushed!

tired

Is it just me or are we all feeling the same way?  I’m just spent!  It’s now 2017. How did that happen.  We all partied like rock stars to ring in the new year, and I think somewhere in all the festivities, I signed a recording contract. Karaoke at it’s finest!

That being said, I think I have hit rock bottom, and like the picture above, that pretty much sums me up these days.   Not sure what’s happening in the universe, but I’m bushed, bedraggled, and bewildered.  Sounds a tad like a Broadway song!

It is taking all my energy just to blink these days. I don’t want to sound like I’m complaining, and it’s great to be busy, but I find it a struggle just to put on mascara these days.  I liken it to having just returned from a week long boot camp but don’t have anything  to show for it.

I’m also struggling to be pleasant at work, and that SH** is exhausting.  What is going on!!!   I may have to soon apologize to a few unfortunate souls that met the ‘other’ Leslie. She can be nasty…dot dot dot!  When I’m busy spinning on my office chair and twirling my hair like a two year old, don’t ask me questions! GOT IT?!

This past Friday evening confirmed things even further for me. Because I’m attempting to be a good girl and avoiding all things pub, beer, and wings, I was grocery shopping when I saw a woman in line ahead of me. She was hurling her grocery items onto the conveyor belt like she was in a Shot Put competition.  Even the egg carton was given no mercy.  She didn’t care, can’s were flying, and apples were rolling.

Her lips were pursed and if she had to fling her bag over her should one more time, I thought she would scream.   I couldn’t hold my tongue (yet again), and commented something like “long days right?”  She presented a wee smile, and said she was just tired and done with Christmas and stuff. Hmm ~ Interesting ~ another fellow “bushed” lady friend.  I’m not alone afterall!

We continued to chat and I told her I was heading home to  watch anything Netflix or Pay Per View was offering.  At that point, I think she softened a bit, and relaxed the shoulders.  Either that,  or as I continued to mumble on incessantly, her eyes started to glaze over, and I took that as a sign she was now in her happy place.  I stopped nattering.

Then Saturday,  more doing nothing I told myself.  I’m not going shopping (Boxing day sales are pretty much caput), not organizing one more drawer, cupboard, closet, or storage facility.  Well I exaggerate, but you get my point. Well, it didn’t happen.  It was my Mom’s birthday so we met at the mall for a nice lunch, but after she departed,  I poked around thinking, I really should just be home, doing nothing!

Then again, at some point between the Sephora  and Roots,  I received a group text from my wonderful girl gang.  They were all conversing about issues in their lives. They were all feeling so exhausted, tired, and ready to take time off from life, so to speak.  I found the timing so perfect ~ there I was wandering aimlessly thinking Poutine would solve all my problems, when again, reality strikes.  I so needed that chat. (FYI – Poutine was bypassed – too many points she said)!

They also reminded me that I wasn’t supposed to be shopping on my lazy day.  They were right!  I made a speedy exit to my car, looking forward to yet another quiet night of nothin’ with my family, which, to be clear, is pretty darn nice!

Just curious… are you all feeling the same?  Is this normal, is it my age, what happened this season that was so different from any other year?  Sure, I ate too much; I’m not getting any younger;  I spent too much;  I worried too much;  and of course,  I tidied/clean/organized WAYYY too much, and oh, I may have partied just a bit too much.

For 2017, I have made no resolutions, (as I mentioned in my Neighbors of SE Oakville piece….*shamelessplug*).  I want this year to be full of opportunities and growth.  I don’t need a resolution to make that happen. I have to make it happen, but need to first, stop yawning, and realize that my kitchen doesn’t always have to resemble a Mediterranean Fusion Restaurant.  I’m working on that…I really am! 🙂

Until next time,

xo

leslieann2

 

 

A Tangled Mess ~ Good news for yours truly!

journal

Most days I try to jot notes down in my personal journal if I hear something I want to remember.  Then there can also be lags of time where I don’t use it at all.  I think we can thank our IPhones for this.  I make good use of my “notes” app, and will use it to remind me of anything and everything ~ a quick grocery store list, best place to buy Spanx, bars I like, restaurant recommendations, and most importantly, all the Netflix movies I discuss with others.  As an aside, I think I really need about 6 months alone on a deserted island (except for power and a really good internet provider) to get caught up!  Doesn’t that sound heavenly! Throw in a lounge chair and a drink with an umbrella in it, and I may never surface again!

AAAAANYWAY, my notes then reminds me to Blog.  I do however, often think that, as much as I enjoy writing them, my following is not that large.  Who really cares.  Do you really want to hear about my day and the craziness it can be, or my random thoughts, “From My Perspective” as my blog is titled.  Well, then, as luck would have it, something happened… a direct message from twitter.

At the time, I was busy in my room trying to sort out my tangled necklaces.  I know, you’re jealous right?  How much fun can YOU have on a Thursday night.  They were all in a muddled mess and can make me late for work some days!!  I just happened to glance down at my phone and saw a message.

Long story short, this lady told me that I need to reach a wider audience than just a few of my pals on WordPress and would I be interested.  I won’t go into great detail about how she pees her pants laughing at some of my drivel, but she did want me to call her asap.  She had an opportunity for me too good to pass up.  After I replied back (without thinking or even consulting my lawyer),  we set a time to connect. I couldn’t focus anymore, and threw the clump back into my jewelry box.  I’ll soon have people to do this for me, I thought! 😉

I threw a fist pump in the air, muttered a soft “yes” under my breath, and flopped down onto my bed.  I then took a quick gander over to my window to be sure my blinds were closed. They were…Whew!   For me, this was exactly what I have always wanted.  It’s going to start out small, but I feel a motion picture isn’t too far from reality!  OK who are we kidding. I’ll stop…

So for now, it’s back to reality, and The Crown! I’m still trying to get the image of the Queen out of my head after that naughty little scene where her hubby aka King, so eloquently stated …

Two options, either I get some stilts so I can reach the heights of my new tall woman, or…(slight dramatic pause)…or, she can get on her knees! 

Hot Damn!  That was good wasn’t it!

Stay tuned my loyal followers…

leslieann2

 

 

 

 

Life’s Regrets ~ if you have any…

clockWe turned back our clocks this weekend… Gaining an hour feels so great. I accomplished so much by 10am, but was ready for a nap by noon!

The time change got me thinking.  Would it not be “interesting” if we could turn back the clock to another time, another day, another year.

If you had a complete “do-over” of what you wanted in terms of time, do you have any regrets you would fix?  I really believe that all things happen for a reason but, like all of us, struggle with this at times.  I will be brutally honest here (as I’m told it’s nice to have raw honesty according to my “books”),  I do have some regrets and if I could turn back the clock, would most definitely do a few things differently.  What if; we always pose the question; if only….Is the grass really that much greener over there!  These are my top 6 in no particular order.

Schooling…

school I never went to University.  As much as I would love to have the alphabet behind my name, Leslie-Ann Williams, ABC Comm. in this, with a Bachelor of CDE, in that, I don’t.  I went to college.  I loved it there, but did find myself skipping a lot of classes. I never really took it too serious.  The only class I never missed was the one where my future husband was.  He just didn’t know it yet!  I will be honest here and admit that whenever the chit chat about University Life pop’s up at a social function, I find myself making a quick getaway (most likely to the kitchen…to fill up my beer)!   Not sure why, but I feel I can’t add anything to the convo, so I skedaddle!   Are you feeling sorry for me yet?

Post College I attended a business school where I could ‘school’ anybody in a typing test. Go Me!  I then landed my first job in Marketing at Imperial Oil.  I worked there for 14 amazing years watching the price wars of gasoline wondering if $0.29/liter would ever go higher!  🙂  I created life long friendships, and to this day, still keep in touch. So yes, regrets about University absolutely, but silver lining, would have NEVER met my better half, and as well, those special friends at my first Big Girl Job!

Career path…

teacher

I heard it a lot growing up…”you would have been a great teacher.”  I would just smile and never really took it away as an action point!  I guess along with my schooling, the career choice would have been obvious.  I used to play “school” for hours when I was smaller.  I was always Mrs. Sharon Miller.  Not sure who she was, or how that name came about, but it was all I ever thought about.  I had some wonderful teachers when I was growing up and as I told my boys, there will be teachers that come into your life for a reason, and also ones that you would like to forget.  I wanted to make a difference and be the ‘nice’ one, but again, never did.  Regret!  On the upside, I may look into that website Ancestry dot com and see if there really is a Sharon Miller.  Perhaps she IS a teacher, and MY doppelganger! That would be a slight win for me!  I hope she is making me proud!

 Sibling Rivalry…

sibling

Be nicer to my sister  ~ We had “sibling rivalry” throughout my teens.  She would never do what I assumed to be, all the big sister things in life.  Share her clothes with me, or makeup ~ She was supposed to, Right?   Well,  admittedly, I could have been nicer.  I was a meanie.  We just fought all the time, which in turn, made her tattle.  So what if I had friends over in grade 10 ~ and we drank a case of beer in my bedroom ~ and dunked my Thumbelina doll into a beer pitcher and broke her swiveling head ~ deep breath ~ and so what if we then proceeded to smoke a pack of Benson & Hedges Menthol cigarettes on the island across from MY house.  Nobody would tell my parents, would they?  FULL STOP!  She did. She tattled. If only I would have been nicer, she most likely would not have ratted me out so much!  UPDATE:  We are much closer now having matured just slightly, and do from time to time,  look back and share great giggles about this story and many other “Leslie Misadventures.”

One Last Goodbye…

goodbyeThis is a tough one, but it’s a real one.  I have lost too many people in my life, far too early. It’s not supposed to happen this way. This is most definitely where “everything happens for a reason” comes into play! Things just happen and there is no rhyme nor reason why ~ it just does.  I struggle with this when it comes to Loss.  If we could turn back time, yes, absolutely, I would love one more word, one more chance to say something, anything.  I regret not making that phone call for one last lunch, reach in for one last hug… ❤

Babies…

toes

Ah yes, babies. NO REGRETS except for one thing…I should have had more and closer together!  That’s it!  I LOVE being a mom!   I married in 1989,  had my first boy 1992, and 3 years later, along came baby boy #2.   He was a busy one, and we thought we were done.  No Offence Middle Child!   We threw in a move to Eastern Canada and it seemed as though that was it.  Starting anew was tough at first, so I was all about making friends; organizing playdates and sourcing other moms that enjoyed the odd libation at 2:00pm.   Then, during one of our chats, it hit me!  I think I want to grow our family unit!

Surprisingly, the thought of being pregnant, strollers and night time feedings still appealed to me. So, 2001 and here comes boy #3!  Yes, a bit of a gap, and NO, he wasn’t a mistake (I find it rather funny people will actually ask you that).  But now, I was 38 and really didn’t think my uterus could handle one more.  So, if I may, if you want babies, have them!  It’s never the right time, but the moment it happens, it’s the perfect time.  Things just work themselves out.  3 Boys are perfect for me! (and I wasn’t foolish enough to risk a 4th blue one, It was pink or go home).

Slow Down…

slow Slow Down – on the heels of having the babies, another regret of mine, was not spending enough time with them when they were smaller.  I was fortunate enough to be able to stay home when they were young,  but always found myself doing things around the house while they played.  Sure, I was great at organizing things for them to do, camps, playdates, picnics, but on days when we were home alone, instead of sitting and playing or even watching a video,  I chose to busy myself with something which no doubt included cleaning and my label maker!  They were happy and I’m sure I’m beating myself up here a bit, but the thought of enduring one more episode of that annoying little boy, Caillou, and his sister Rosie, I could scream.  My youngest loved that show, so it was all I could do to hide away deep inside my linen closet so as to not hear that little bastard whining! Combine that with Lunette the Clown and her rolling around on a carpet like a stripper, and it’s no wonder I would prefer molding fondant than watch that stuff.

We can all have regrets about certain aspects of our life.  That’s just how it plays out.  That can’t be helped.  I know we can’t go back and change things, and let’s face it, is the grass really any greener over there!  And where is that place anyway, and if it’s a fence,  it’s due for a paint touch up!

In the end, we have to embrace our lives, and accept the path we are on. I do hope however, I’m not at a party where the idea comes up to “share one regret we have in life.”  Tell me, what is it with people and party games.  Can’t we all just hang out by the cheese tray and discuss the newest fashion trends!   You do know however, if  University chatter comes up, I’m making a beeline to the kitchen, and cracking yet another cold one!

I’ll leave you with a couple of quotes to ponder…

“One of the greatest regrets in life is being what others would want you to be, rather than being yourself.” 

and this..

“You were what you were and you are what you are. Fuck that regrets bullshit.”

Until next time,

signature

P.S.  please excuse any typos or lack of fluidity in this post…  I was up till the wee hours of the night  watching the end of the world, as we know it!   Speaking of regrets, do you think “President Trump” has any… Oiy Vey!

 

Post Hallo Chit Chat ~ A life of excuses…

 

I have excuses, and they are bloody good ones!                food

Given we just closed off on another Halloween, I figured it was time to fess up!

A few months back  I decided to bite the bullet and join in on a slightly competitive, very fun and friendly weight loss challenge at work.  I hesitated when people first approached me; do I really want to belong to the Biggest Loser Club?   I KNOW I have to ‘taper down’, but at this age, it’s next to impossible!  (Hush You)!

So, to paint you a picture, the day before the weight in, I may have demolished a whole container of Onion Chip Dip at one sitting, while watching (hold yourself down) The Bachelor….(yes, of course, I tune in… been watching this drivel since it’s inception).  I just roll my eyes at the television screen, as I twist my finger around and around , scraping the bottom of the barrel to get every….last….bite!  The things we do when nobody’s watching!

I got myself into this pickle, so it was time to fix it. But, of course, the excuses are endless for me…

#1  I’m old – well, I’m now 53 having just celebrated my birthday late October. All my life, I never struggled with my weight, but now, losing weight at ‘this’ age,  is giving me grief!  I believe it’s a proven medical fact that as we age, it gets tougher, so let’s leave it at that.

#2  I work!  Let me clarify – I work at a place where there is a cafeteria ~  It’s not your run of the mill cafe with the orange food trays and  Soup D’ Jour.  No, this is a cafeteria that has not only 1, but 5 different food stations. Pasta station, salad bar, “Special of the Day” bar, prepared sandwiches, pizza bars, and lastly, a bbq section, offering up everything from hamburgers to my beloved poutine!  Tell me, why would I make myself a lunch when this glorious food kitchen is waiting for me.  CLEARLY, it’s my work that is causing this weight gain….

#3  I love beer ~ Beer loves me back ~ Nuff Said

#4  How about this one.. – “Hey it’s Friday, let’s meet for “one, and done!”  That NEVER happens. Pishaw!  We start out with the best of intentions, but well, girls, we start solving all the problems of the world, and the next thing you know we are elbows deep in a plate of nachos, and two pounds of wings!   I blame my #girlgang!  How I love them so!

#5  Lastly, just the obvious…I love food!  No Duh!  We all do!  Food Glorious food.  Although, one caveat here, I dislike  Goat Cheese, Cilantro and anything curry based ~  All of those foods could fall off the face of the earth, and I wouldn’t bat an eyelash.

I know, I know.. “you don’t like curry or goat cheese?  What is wrong with you..”  I hear it all the time.  I’m not sure how I’m surviving living in the little town, and not embrace  “The Goat!”  Oh the looks I get!  I do believe I’m also allergic to Cilantro.  (wink wink)  I can taste it a mile away, and the old “you won’t know if there is goat in this salad” doesn’t work either.  My tongue goes all puffy and I swell up like a blow fish.  Well, again, lies, but whatevah!!

I also must confess I use the seasons as an excuse.  Fall is now upon us so I can finally ditch my two piece bikini (bahahah) and break out the sweaters!  Summer time is good for three things ~ blender drinks, caesars and beer!  What a great combination of sugar and spice and everything nice!

Fall also means Halloween candy. I’ll be honest!  Halloween could be cancelled for all I care. (Right up there with my food dislikes).  Not a fan!  (aside from the oh so tiny chocolate bars that fit nicely into my makeup bag ;)) The most decorating I do now is throwing a few mini white pumpkins on my mantle. Tada! It’s Halloween!   I shut down Halloween about 7:53pm, yank the pumpkins off the mantle, and crank the Christmas tunes! Only 54 more sleeps.

So yes, If you know me at all,  my bestie is  C.H.R.I.S.T.M.A.S.  How I love her!  We all know the eating frenzy that happens during THAT festive season.  I decorate late November (leave me alone), and start planning my social engagements (like a Kardashian), and by Christmas Eve, I’ve no doubt packed on an extra 5 lbs. ready for hibernation!  Chocolate, and balls, and decking the halls… all goodness in my books!

Clearly I have excuses, but we all do.  I’m currently working on a modified version of Weight Watchers (modified aka not following at all some days), but I do have their points system down to a science.  AND,  I also know this… If  I want to save all my points, and drink myself into a drunken stupor one day, I CAN!  Hooray!  I’ll let you know when I plan to do that, because I’m almost certain we could have a boat load of fun together!  

I’ll keep using the excuses, but also continue on my path to the ‘better me!’  I’m presently reading a “self help” book that is telling me “stripping is good for releasing your inner goddess.”  and apparently good exercise!  Hmm…Sounds like a plan to me, (in the privacy of my own home, of course), and  “a heck of a lot more fun than doing squat thrusts in a sweaty gym!”   As long as I can keep from falling off the chair, I think I could be onto something!

Until next time,

Bun Apple Tea my friends,

 leslie-ann2

p.s.  Results for the weight loss challenge are being withheld due to a legal matter…